New year, new hobbies, new distractions!


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Just before Christmas, I started on a new adventure….crocheting! 
For anyone who belongs to the cult of crocheting, you know how much fun I have been having learning all I can, and creating new things. 
It was a little tricky at first, due to the fact that I am a lefty.  I finally found a few tutorials on YouTube, and am now working on a few projects! 
I started out with dishcloths, once I could create a straight square (my first attempt at a square turned out looking like what Princess called “soundswaves, you know the picture of sound you can see on the computer.”), which I ended up giving to family and friends as Christmas gifts!  They loved them!
I have now moved on to hats, which are SO MUCH FUN, and I was just given a pattern for crocheted “spiral-scrubbies.” My interpretation of the use of these things is kind of in replace of steel wool.
Along with my new found hobby, I have gained a few new friends!  A friend of mine added me to a facebook group she belongs to, as well as invited me along to one of her knitting nights with some lovely ladies!  I will definitely be going again next week!  Wee-man will be tagging along this time, because I may be out pretty late.
Now, with joining this wonderful group on facebook, and spending time with “the girls,” I have been introduced to one more thing… RAVELRY!!!!!! (This is a *WARNING*… if you have a life, children to tend to, a job, even a goldfish, perhaps clicking on the link is NOT your best choice.  This site is the social networking place to be for knitters and crocheters{is that even a word?} It is like crack…once you’re there, you are sucked into a pattern searching, friend making, project posting vortex of the interweb, never to be heard from again… I finally broke free long enough to write this post, but I’ll be back…we always go back!  I am serious though, this week has been like having a newborn all over again.  I am sleep deprived, haven’t showered in days{ok that’s a lie…}, I can’t find my kitchen counter, and I hope someone has been feeding my children….)
I know there has been some time between this and my last post, but in order to keep my sanity, and love of writing, I just can’t be trying to post everyday right now.
I am heading back to my new addiction, ahem, I mean hobby.  If you don’t hear from me in a week, send a search party, they should find me sitting on my couch, surrounded by yarn, hooks, and a laptop!

Missie

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First is Worst


The dreaded moment… Leaving your little one with a sitter for the first time.


Wee-man and I have not been apart from each-other for more than 30 minutes since his coming home from the NICU. “Why leave him?” You ask. In most circumstances, I would just bring him along with me. The grocery store, out to lunch, the mall, are all examples of where Wee-man tags along. Unfortunately, I do not believe a funeral home is quite the place for a 5 month old baby.
Unexpectedly, on Saturday June 3rd, 2010, a friend of mine passed away. I may not have seen him in a few years, but he always remained in my thoughts. Brian was a good man, with a good heart and will be missed by many.
My post isn’t to get into details about that however, I wanted to share with you my feelings of leaving my little man for the first time.
I haven’t been stockpiling BM at all, I haven’t had a need to. I guess I should keep some on hand for these occasions however. I have been trying to get a few pumping sessions in whenever I can, but this has proven quite difficult in this nasty 40+C degree weather. I will have enough for the few hours I am gone, but just.
I am worried that Wee-man is going to be a bit of a handful. He is VERY attached to his Momma, (rightfully so, he is a baby!) and only tolerates others for short times. He has started to recognise that there are other people who are consistent throughout his day: his sister, his Nana and Papa, his uncle (who is staying with us currently while going back to school,) and a few neighbours. However, my wonderful aunt has agreed to watch Princess and Wee-man for me, but he has only met her once or twice.
Wee-man nurses himself to sleep, how will he sleep while I’m gone? He hasn’t had a bottle for anything other than the odd oz or 2 of water since he was in his second month of life. What if he starts to prefer the speed of the bottle again? It was such a battle to get where we are in our successful breastfeeding relationship today. Will he be okay being held by a stranger for long?
I know these are normal feelings, but I cannot help but to be slightly overwhelmed by them all. This all leads into the main topic of this blog of course… Princess was quite independent from the get-go. Along with being formula fed, she was often off on sleepovers with Nana and Papa, or her Nanny and Poppy Moe (before they moved back to Nfld) quite frequently. I always knew I was going to miss her while she was gone, but it feels differently this time.
What a strong bond a breastfeeding baby has to its mother. How is it that I am shaking like a leaf, when I am only going to be 3 or so hours? I am not sending him off overnight.
Everything will be okay. Perhaps dealing with grief as well as mommy seperation anxiety is kicking it into overdrive? I will survive!
Just when you think, “wow, thats going to be quite a busy day” My bestest and her hubby-to-be will be heading our way for a bbq this evening. If I remember this through my feelings of sadness/anxiety, I can see the silver lining to today’s cloud.

I can’t wait to see this wonderful woman, who I have known for 21 years! My longest and dearest friend. Too make it even more exciting, she is EXPECTING! 14 weeks to be exact. I can’t wait!

Now, off to the kitchen, to express one last time before I finally get to try and sleep. So much to do, and 24 hours just aren’t enough to do it in sometimes.
Tell me, how is it you cope when you have to leave your little ones behind? Who do you trust to keep them safe while you are away? Please, share your thoughts. Don’t be shy!

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